Dear Jack,
I was going to keep this short like 140 characters short but then you know…..things changed. You let guys like us get to say more than we probably should. But i’ll try my best to make this worth it. ;)
You see, I am writing you because you (@Square) and I (@GrilledCheezGuy) are celebrating 9 brieutiful years together as a business. Small businesses that have blossomed into bigger and breadder things that have touched the hearts and stomachs of countless people since 2009.
What you might not remember are all the fun parallels we have experienced together and I thought I might share with you and everyone else on our nine year anniversary. What you might not see is how many ways your company has truly been the key fromagy factor to our growth and success. So here are some fun memories and ways you have been a big slice of our cheesy game.
Member when you and I met for the first time? I do. You were that cute little startup in the SF Chronicle building and I was that cute little caterer that showed up with his griddles and bricks to serve you those grilled cheeses you loved*?
Member me chatting with your staff about the cool events I was doing like ForageSF and the Oakland Art Murmur? I do. Your staff gave me those ziploc bags full of hundreds of Square readers to hand out like high tech crack to the masses. Granted it wasn’t crack, it was practical genius in digital candy form for all us small businesses at that moment in time. I was sold from my first pitch about what you were doing.
Member when we kept catering for you all and you moved offices faster than we could keep up? I do. One of those times you tweeted about me. If you made a twittergraphic of my twitter/website the day you tweeted me is still a heart attack blip on the scale of coolness.
Member when you rolled out Square Payroll or Square Capital I honestly forget which one? I do. Because I’ve been somewhat of a secret Beta bitch if you don’t know I’m sure there is a better term for it and my mom is going to not like me writing that but shit happens**. Anyway, you all asked me a lot of fun questions and I had a lot of good angles which you all appreciated. Then I went on Twitter to talk about how cool I thought this new program was and………
Member when you all literally somehow called me 1.2 minutes later to tell me to take that tweet down. I do. It was the most Orwellian or high tech moment of my life. Send tweet. Get call. Take it down #GCG. Please. Or else***. I did it. Because I got nothing but love for y’all.
Member when you called me to do a commercial and got me all excited? I do. Because after all the planning and talking about coming to Off the Grid Presidio Picnic to do a breuiftul outdoor bay area shoot y’all called me to cancel. Too complicated. I understood. I saw all those chic stores you show on your commercials. So I kept on swiping and Squaring……
Member the times I just needed some capital to get that new small van and you all gave me a loan offer right then? I do. Remember when that van got totalled shortly after getting it? I do. :/
Member the thousands of offices and events and parties and weddings (and funerals) and wineries and breweries that I have been to and been able to give them access to credit cards thanks to you. I kinda do. Many involved wine and beer and liquor and me.
Member all the hundreds of homeless and street people and people that couldn’t swipe with a Square I have been able to feed in between. I do.
So there’s nine memories of how Square (and Twitter) and I have been together on this journey of life. Hell, I am releasing this fun filled story on the day I Guest Chef at Twitter HQ to show how close we still are. And the closeness continues with my small little restaurant I was able to open at 529 Stevenson in SF.
So on this anniversary, I thought I would do a fun little turning of the tables and offer you one of those three button deals**** you have been offering me over the years. Since I’m now open only a mere three blocks I thought I would give a similar offer to an old friend*****. And here it is:
Box 1
$10,000 Investment
10% off all Twitter/Square
staff for 1 year!
Box 2
$25,000 Investment
25% off all Twitter/Square
staff for 1 year!
Box 3
$50,000 Investment
50% off all Twitter/Square
staff for 1 year!
Consolation Prize?: No transaction fees for 9 years. You name a sandwich.
I know there is a good chance you will never read this and a slim chance you will play my game. Nevertheless, let this letter serve as a true cheesy testament to my love for the 9 grate gruyeres we have had together. May we have 9 more and make sure you try the grilled cheese nachos today. I hear they are grate. Just like you Jack. Tweet me which box you choose bud.
Congrats & Happy Grilled Cheese Month,
Michael The GCG
*not sure if you loved them, but your staff or someone sure did.
**just rolling out the dice there. I mean she’s already fucking pissed at this point.
***there were no threats.
****Buttons and then sliding scale thing that didn’t last long.
*****we technically aren’t friends. But we could be. I also have a billion dollar app idea. No really. I do.
I was going to keep this short like 140 characters short but then you know…..things changed. You let guys like us get to say more than we probably should. But i’ll try my best to make this worth it. ;)
You see, I am writing you because you (@Square) and I (@GrilledCheezGuy) are celebrating 9 brieutiful years together as a business. Small businesses that have blossomed into bigger and breadder things that have touched the hearts and stomachs of countless people since 2009.
What you might not remember are all the fun parallels we have experienced together and I thought I might share with you and everyone else on our nine year anniversary. What you might not see is how many ways your company has truly been the key fromagy factor to our growth and success. So here are some fun memories and ways you have been a big slice of our cheesy game.
Member when you and I met for the first time? I do. You were that cute little startup in the SF Chronicle building and I was that cute little caterer that showed up with his griddles and bricks to serve you those grilled cheeses you loved*?
Member me chatting with your staff about the cool events I was doing like ForageSF and the Oakland Art Murmur? I do. Your staff gave me those ziploc bags full of hundreds of Square readers to hand out like high tech crack to the masses. Granted it wasn’t crack, it was practical genius in digital candy form for all us small businesses at that moment in time. I was sold from my first pitch about what you were doing.
Member when we kept catering for you all and you moved offices faster than we could keep up? I do. One of those times you tweeted about me. If you made a twittergraphic of my twitter/website the day you tweeted me is still a heart attack blip on the scale of coolness.
Member when you rolled out Square Payroll or Square Capital I honestly forget which one? I do. Because I’ve been somewhat of a secret Beta bitch if you don’t know I’m sure there is a better term for it and my mom is going to not like me writing that but shit happens**. Anyway, you all asked me a lot of fun questions and I had a lot of good angles which you all appreciated. Then I went on Twitter to talk about how cool I thought this new program was and………
Member when you all literally somehow called me 1.2 minutes later to tell me to take that tweet down. I do. It was the most Orwellian or high tech moment of my life. Send tweet. Get call. Take it down #GCG. Please. Or else***. I did it. Because I got nothing but love for y’all.
Member when you called me to do a commercial and got me all excited? I do. Because after all the planning and talking about coming to Off the Grid Presidio Picnic to do a breuiftul outdoor bay area shoot y’all called me to cancel. Too complicated. I understood. I saw all those chic stores you show on your commercials. So I kept on swiping and Squaring……
Member the times I just needed some capital to get that new small van and you all gave me a loan offer right then? I do. Remember when that van got totalled shortly after getting it? I do. :/
Member the thousands of offices and events and parties and weddings (and funerals) and wineries and breweries that I have been to and been able to give them access to credit cards thanks to you. I kinda do. Many involved wine and beer and liquor and me.
Member all the hundreds of homeless and street people and people that couldn’t swipe with a Square I have been able to feed in between. I do.
So there’s nine memories of how Square (and Twitter) and I have been together on this journey of life. Hell, I am releasing this fun filled story on the day I Guest Chef at Twitter HQ to show how close we still are. And the closeness continues with my small little restaurant I was able to open at 529 Stevenson in SF.
So on this anniversary, I thought I would do a fun little turning of the tables and offer you one of those three button deals**** you have been offering me over the years. Since I’m now open only a mere three blocks I thought I would give a similar offer to an old friend*****. And here it is:
Box 1
$10,000 Investment
10% off all Twitter/Square
staff for 1 year!
Box 2
$25,000 Investment
25% off all Twitter/Square
staff for 1 year!
Box 3
$50,000 Investment
50% off all Twitter/Square
staff for 1 year!
Consolation Prize?: No transaction fees for 9 years. You name a sandwich.
I know there is a good chance you will never read this and a slim chance you will play my game. Nevertheless, let this letter serve as a true cheesy testament to my love for the 9 grate gruyeres we have had together. May we have 9 more and make sure you try the grilled cheese nachos today. I hear they are grate. Just like you Jack. Tweet me which box you choose bud.
Congrats & Happy Grilled Cheese Month,
Michael The GCG
*not sure if you loved them, but your staff or someone sure did.
**just rolling out the dice there. I mean she’s already fucking pissed at this point.
***there were no threats.
****Buttons and then sliding scale thing that didn’t last long.
*****we technically aren’t friends. But we could be. I also have a billion dollar app idea. No really. I do.
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